Advanced!

Wow this site got really advanced. This is wonderful! Wonderful things happen when I stay away for so long.

I am back

I am back. I have been getting some shit for not blogging by my one and only fan. Thanks 40! (This is a short one though cause I am leaving work for the day) 12 pack calling from the fridge across town. Cheers-

The Very Last Day

Today is my very last day at my horrible job. Then two weeks off for me then I start my new job. YAY! Just 4 more hours of hell.

LAX

We picked up our friend Dan last night from LAX. His gay friends were over when we dropped him off. Gay men are so funny. I like them! They were talking about French male whorehouses. It was quite amusing. If I were a man, I think I would be gay. I like clothes and men so I would be the perfect gay guy.

We hit an opossum on the way home. That reminds me, I am supposed to look up the spelling in the dictionary. Is it opossum or possum? 40 says he hopes the little guy died. If not, he will turn us in to the po po. He said we should go back and finish the job. I blame The Sopranos for his deviant talk. I thought it was a cat at first that we hit and I felt bad. Cats usually are pets. Who has a possum for a pet though? Not me. I don't feel bad about hitting a possum. We almost hit the guy that took our parking spot too. Well, not really but we should have. I definitely would not have felt bad about that.

Rosebowl

Hello. I have been watching American Idol as usual. My question/ When is the football player going to be eliminated? He is wretched. I would like to have a party when he gets the boot. I hate him. This fat tub of lard is dying to get some exposure. He was on Taboo, I hear, Family Fued, American Idol and god knows what else. He is fat, ugly and cannot sing. Stop taking up all the room on the camera Rosebowl. Go home! Maybe he can go on that show the Swan where they try to make people pretty.

The Last Days...

Well, I gave my two weeks notice yesterday. Now, all of a sudden my new clients are coming in left and right. I am a drug test sales superstar. I am glad this was not the case before I quit. It would have made resigning harder to do. My hard work is finally paying off. A little too late though.

It actually wasn't that hard to quit cause my sales manager was such a prick Monday morning that I would have quit regardless of if I had another job or not. I should thank him. "Thank for being a dick, Dick!" That is the only thing he has going for him.

The other girl that worked here before me told me she wanted to kick his ass a lot. I see why. He is a dick indeed.

The men in a neighboring office offered me a position with them if my Headhunting position does not work out. They are so kind. They are more sad about my departure and will miss me more than my dick office. They all smoke cigarettes too and they invite me in to celebrate their birthdays with them. Do we celebrate our birthdays here? No! I could see it now though. All that would separate my old office with Mr. Dick head in it and my new job would be a very thin wall. Too weird. I couldn't do it.


They posted an ad on careerbuilder to fill my position the same day I resigned here. No mourning? What? That sucks. Well, they will never find another me. Dicks! And I guarantee no one will put up with all this dickiness for too long.


On a lighter note, I sent thank you cards today to the kind fellas that interviewed me last week and hired me the same day. They are certainly, not dick heads. Two of them interviewed me at one time. I was in an etiquette pickle earlier. Do you send them each a thank you card or one card with both their names on it. They work in the same office after all. Where is Emily Post when I need her? For fear of looking cheap, I sent two. Cause I am not cheap, nor am I a dick.

WoW. Laurie no Allowed to write Anymore

I seriously just got really freaked out. Not only are my vicotin giving me a numbing sensation where my brain should be, I tried to find that thing you click on that is on this page that lets you start a new entry and it was not there. Then I went to www.blogger.com and the space to write is really small. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED DAMN IT. I thought I was on writing suspension. There is no way I am too crass and inappropriate. Wait, Is there such a fucking thing?

Anyhow, I got a new job, a toothache and some great painkillers all in 1 day. Yesterday. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I think it is a root canal gone bad. I went to the emergency room last night and the dentist today. No one can tell me what it is yet. As long as they keep these kaine pillers coming though, let me tell you......:)
I am getting more work done on Monday. It can either be one of two tooth. tooths. I mean teeth so I have to get both of them fixed.

I am bored and on drugs so I will tell you the whole story. In NJ, I went to a baby dentist until I was 25 cause I have "sensitive teeth and gums". I am what some would call the "apprehensive patient". She was not good at caps, crowns, root canals. Instead of saying "Ms. Laurie, I can not do this", She did it. Or at least tried to. Now Caps are on wrong, root canals may be infected, filling must be redone, etc. It is a bitch.

The moral of this story..
1. Do not be a baby
2. Do not go to the baby dentist
3. Get your work done when they tell you you need it. Don't wait cause you are a pussy
4. Always ask for pain killers. Even if the dentist has not even started workin on you yet. It will eventually hurt and pain pills are good clean fun.

My Job Hunt

William Shaetner has a show called "Heartbeat of America" where he interviews the C.E.O. of large businesses as some sort of advertising ploy for those businesses. The only reason I know this is because I am applying for the job of setting appointments with the C.E.O.s for the fieldworkers to interview. I had this voice phone interview where I had to say things on the recording. At the end of the recording they said they will call those back with the strongest voices for an interview. My ass got a call back today. I toe-it-up. If that is a good thing.

Predictions for 3-10

I looked on the UPN website to cheat and get the results. It looks as though America's Next Top Model was not on this week. What a travesty!

My predictions you ask for American Idol you ask?

Leah
George
Suzy
Jennifer

You heard it here first. Thank you and goodnight.

American Idle

Ok. I have no good title today so I figured I would just spell Idol wrong. I love this show. I even got Ochs and 40 into it( Although they will not admit it.) Ochs really wanted the judges to tell everyone they sucked. 40 likes it because he likes to have a reason to be mad and it gives him something to complain about.
My friend Dan usually comes by on Tuesday nights to watch it with us. Unfortunately, he was on holiday and could not be there. I voted for the pen salesman 2 times. Once for the both of us. I do not think he sings that well but we both think he is awe-fully adorable. He was dancing really sexy. If he does not make it on American Idol (which I do not think he will), I think he will be the next Indie heartthrob on the OC.

There were some terrible people. One guy, everyone thinks is hot, has a forced smile and always sings some dumb-ass hick song in tight pants.

There a two girls that suck ass and look a whole lot alike. One sang second and one sang third. Why would they put one right after the other? I don't know. If you ask me, neither of them will be moving forward tonite. Maybe they can just go shopping together for more slut clothes.

The colored guy with the mustache is damn good and sings really fine. He will stay in the competition I think.

Americas Next Top Model is on tonite too. It is a repeat of last night but I cannot watch it Tuesday so I view it on Wednesdays. I may cheat and go look at the website to see who goes. Then later, when I am watching it I can make the prediction and be right. Oh, wait 40 reads this. No, I am not going to peak, I swear.

I hope Shandi wins. I love her. Mercedes and April can go home, I don't care for them. The short -dark haired chick is kind of cool though too.

If you ask me, I think it will be Mercedes and her Lupus will be voted off cause one episode all she did was bark about it. God, so annoying. Americas Next Drama Queen.

Probation

I am officially on probation at work. Who can sell over priced drug tests?We sell for 7 bucks what everyone sells for 5. They say a sucker is born every 5 minutes. Where are these people? I would like to rob them of all of their money for a plastic cup to piss in. Really now. It is like trying to sell soap to a hippie.
At least I can say I was on probation now. Although it feels more like parole. I feel like such an outlaw. So what if it is only probation from a drug testing company. It is a start. I have big dreams.